Fist full of tears
by keysha7280
Summary: Book 4 in the series follow up for fracture. "I made a promise Spock that i wouldn't let anything come between us again. I intend to keep that promise. Just give me a moment to figure this out." What is Nyota trying to figure out lets see together.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1- Spock

I showered and lay down in our bed beside Nyota. I wrapped my arm gently around her waist. The two month vacation on Earth had been most productive. While on Earth we received confirmation of her pregnancy. I remembered the moment when her doctor told us she was pregnant again.

"_Well guys you are pregnant again." Dr. Manor exclaimed._

"_Let me guess. Twins right?" Nyota said with a smile but I could tell she was being sarcastic. _

"_Yes. I truly don't know how the two of you do it. It's highly irregular unless you're taking some kind of fertility drug you are not informing me of." Dr. Manor said with a side glance at me._

_Nyota laughed and looked at me. She placed a gentle hand over her belly and lay back fully on the exam table._

"_No Dr. Manor it's all natural. It's just that my husband has well…" she paused as I shifted uncomfortably. "He has what I call super sperm and I seem to only get pregnant after something very traumatic happens to us and this time was no different. I just think the adrenaline has something to do with it." she smiled and held my hand._

_She began to draw her small circles and I was comforted and relaxed. I could not deny however that her theory was one that warranted study. Twins are highly irregular amongst Vulcans and she has no recent family history of twins in her family. My mother's family has no history of twins. So how was it that we came to now have three sets of twins?_

_Nyota looked at me and smiled._

"_Spock, babe I love you but I'm serious after I have these babies you're never having sex with me again. I might let you die next time you go through Pon Farr." She said laughing._

_I said nothing in response and lifted my right eyebrow and she trembled in my hand._

"_I suppose that I should get my fill of you then while you are still pregnant." I whispered in her ear._

_I laid a light kiss on her ear lobe and she shivered. I pulled away from her slowly. She looked up at me with want and passion in her eyes. Dr. Manor turned her attention back to us. _

"_Take this padd and give it to the ship's doctor for the regimen I want you on. Uhura I need you to take it easy with this pregnancy. You have carried two previous sets and with the high stress of being in deep space your uterine wall is thinner than I would like it to be and that is rather dangerous. So just be very careful out there." The doctor said seriously and I could feel Nyota tremble again this time in fear._

_I ran my finger across the middle of her hand to comfort her and she stopped trembling._

Her hand intertwining in mine pulled me from the memory. Softly my forehead connected with the back of her head and I kissed her neck. I drew small circles on her belly. I loved her pregnancies they always seemed to bring us closer. We lay in silence and I went back to thinking of the theory of how we always conceive twins. When Gray and Amanda were conceived I was grieving the loss of my planet and mother, Soren and Skylar after we suffered the loss of a child and now this set of twins during Pon Farr.

"What are you thinking about?" She questioned sleepily.

"Everything." I answered and kissed her neck again.

She turned to face me and smiled. My arm draped around her waist with my hand landing on her back. Her forehead connected with mine and she smiled.

"Gray and Mandy are so excited about tomorrow they can't wait to officially put on their uniforms." She said happily.

While on Earth the two of them made the decision that they wanted to be in Starfleet. Amanda was going into the medical field she wanted to be a psychologist so she could be a ship's counselor. Nyota thinks that she just wants to be able to use her telepathy. With no surprise Gray chose engineering.

"Spock are you upset that neither of them chose to be science officers?" she questioned looking into my eyes.

"No. They chose what felt right to them. However knowing the two of them once they get their degrees they'll change their minds and study something else. They are always in the quest for knowledge. Or maybe they will be satisfied with the fields they have chosen." I answered.

My lips brushed against hers and she smiled.

"I fear that people will say that Starfleet played favoritism to let them in so young because of who you are and the connections you have. Their careers will be difficult and I still say they're too young but I couldn't fight the three of you so we'll see." She said with her tone turning serious.

"They have entered Starfleet on their own merit and the people who matter their teachers aboard this ship know that. Amanda and Grayson have their whole lives to prove themselves." I replied.

"Spock they're growing…." She took a long pause and her expression changed. "Move." She said climbing over me and leaping out the bed.

She ran into the bathroom and sat beside the toilet. I followed her and sat beside her. I held her hair from her mouth. With my free hand I wet a wash cloth with cold water and placed it on the back of her neck. I grabbed one of her hair ties and put her hair into a ponytail but did not pull it through all the way so that it wouldn't fly into her face. These tricks we learned during the pregnancy with Soren and Skylar.

As she heaved more into the toilet I stood and went to get her some ice water, mouth wash, and chamomile tea with lemon. I placed everything on the sink and took my spot next to her again. I sat with my back against the wall and spread my legs. After ten minuets of vomiting she slumped over the toilet. I grabbed the ice water and poured some on the wash cloth. She leaned against me and I wrapped my arms around her. I kissed the side of her forehead and ran the wash cloth along her face and down her neck.

She exhaled deeply with her hand on her ever growing belly. She drank the water quickly. I took the glass and handed her the mouthwash then the tea.

"That was really bad this time." I commented as she handed me the empty tea cup.

"Yeah it was. I wasn't this sick with any of the other kids. This is horrible I hope this morning sickness doesn't last much longer." She said sadly and I felt guilty.

I ran the back of my hand across her face.

"See why I said if males had to be pregnant every species would have died out before they could get started." She said with a smile.

"Your observation is correct. I could not do what you do." I said honestly.

Her body always stretched to its limits and the being sick and giving birth. I shook my head just thinking about it. I stood picked her up carrying her to the bed and laying her down softly. She lay on her side facing me. I slid into the bed and stretched my arm which she laid her head on. I folded that arm pushing her closer to me. Her head lay on my chest. One of her chocolate legs lay in the middle of my legs.

"Thank you." I said in almost a whisper because she was drifting off to sleep.

"For what Spock?"

"For all that you put your body through to bring our children to life." I said with my lips against her forehead.

"Not something I have to be thanked for Spock. This is our family. You'll still love me when my body doesn't bounce back into shape anymore right?" she questioned with a smile against my neck.

"Of course. I'll always love you." I responded honestly.

"You better." She said softly and then her eyes closed.

She was asleep the soft snoring confirmed it. When we first began to share a bed the snoring bothered me. But as time went by the snoring turned into a lullaby for me and I often found I could not sleep without it.


	2. Chapter 2

hello all. thanks for the reviews so far and i am glad that the first chapter was enjoyed. i want to keep pleasing and in order to do that i need reviews so let me know what you want and i'll do my best to provide. suggested watching for chap 2 and 3 is the mirror mirror ep. one of my faves and if you watch it on youtube or hulu you'll see why. any way enjoy

Chapter 2- Nyota

I had one foot on the platform with Captain Kirk and the elders from the planet and one foot on the ground. Jim was trying to get permission from these planets elders to mine dilithium here. I was glad that I did not suffer morning sickness today, however this planet was having some kind of storm and I wanted to get off of it. I zoned out as Jim pleaded with the elder once more.

One of the draw backs of pregnancy for me is my inability to concentrate. Before coming down here Spock helped me meditate and that seemed to help my concentration only now it was faltering. Jim got on his communicator when the storm seemed to get worse.

Spock's voice chimed in my ears like a wonderful musical melody.

"Spock here." He said his voice thick and rich.

"Report on magnetic storm Mr. Spock." Jim said into the communicator.

"Standard ion storm Captain although quite violent and unpredictable." Spock replied.

"Rough ride?" Jim joked.

"If we stay." Spock replied simply. I closed my eyes at the sound of his beautiful voice.

This pregnancy was defiantly making me hornier than usual. It felt like every time he said something I wanted to pounce on him. I would have to do some serious meditation when I get back to the ship.

"Standby to beam up landing party." Jim said breaking me from my thoughts. "Plot a standard orbit to clear the disturbance." Jim continued.

"When may we continue discussion on the matter?" Jim questioned the elder.

The storm continued to worsen. I really want off of this planet.

"The council will discus it but do not be hopeful Captain." The elder said as he stood.

We began to walk away when the elder spoke again.

"Captain. You do have the might to force us to give the dilithium you seek."

"But we won't. Consider that in your discussions." Jim replied flashing the elder his boyish smile.

He and his party left and Jim, myself, Dr. McCoy and Mr. Scott stood in formation to beam up.

"Enterprise. Transporter room energizes." Jim ordered into his communicator.

I felt the tingle of the transporter and I hated it. I saw Spock at the transporter while we were slightly formed and then we went back into the nothingness of having our molecules spread around. When we finally solidified Jim walked off of the transporter pad.

"Spock was right that was a rough ride." He said but stopped when he saw Spock and the uniforms we were wearing.

Spock had a beard! Defiantly not my Spock. What was going on? I looked down at my uniform my torso was bare. Defiantly not Starfleet regulation. The skirt was short and my boots slightly higher up the leg and I wasn't pregnant. Quickly I placed a hand over my belly. My eyes connected with Spock's. I tried not to let my fear take hold of me.

Spock saluted us the Klingon way.

"Status of the mission Captain?" Spock questioned as he and Jim walked over to each other.

I walked over to Scotty and gave him a strange look. He held my arm in a protective manner.

"No change." Jim answered.

"Standard procedure then Captain?" Spock questioned.

Jim shook his head yes and Spock walked back over to the console.

"Mr. Sulu set phaser barrage on Halican cities." Spock ordered.

I tried not to look too shocked at the order my husband just gave. Scotty pulled me closer to him and I accepted. I was coming to terms with the fact that this was not our Enterprise and that was not my Spock.

Spock questioned the military capability of the planet and Jim answered that they have none.

"Regrettable that this society has chosen suicide. Mr. Kyle you were instructed to compensate during the ion storm." Spock said coldly.

"I did sir." Mr. Kyle said trembling with fear.

They began to argue as Mr. Kyle sounded like he was pleading for his life. Spock asked for something called an agonizer and Mr. Kyle backed away from him and began to plead. Spock took the device from Mr. Kyle and pressed the button. The man crumpled in pain. I buried my face in Mr. Scott's shoulder. Spock walked past Jim and came towards the rest of us.

"Mr. Scott the storm has caused some damage in your section and there are some injuries that require your attention doctor." Spock said looking at both men.

Then there was a strange look that he gave me and I trembled under his gaze. This tremble was the tremble of fear and I know he saw it. Mr. Kyle informed Spock of a power serge that happened during the beam up.

"Due to your error Mr. Kyle?" He questioned in a demanding tone.

"No sir before."

"Must be due to the storm. Captain do you feel any abnormalities?" He questioned.

Jim thought for now more than a second.

"Yes. Doctor you should look us over." He said turning to the rest of us and tilting his head. He shifted his eyes towards the door. I looked at Spock as I felt his gaze on me. Then I looked to Scott and we walked off the pad.

When we got into sickbay I think we all took a deep breath I know that I did.

"Captain what is this?" I questioned.

"I don't know. It's our Enterprise but it isn't." Jim answered and began to walk away. "Maybe." He paused.

"Maybe what Captain?" I questioned.

"Did anyone feel dizzy when we materialized?" Jim questioned turning back around to face us.

We all answered yes although when it happened originally I attributed it to the pregnancy.

"It happened twice. First we were on our Enterprise and then we were here." He continued.

Scott said something to him I was unable to listen as I thought about what was going on with me. Again I placed a hand over my belly the three of them continued to talk but I could not hear them.

"I suggest that we are in a parallel universe." I heard Jim say. "Everything is duplicated but different." He continued.

"Then if we're here then this ships Captain, Uhura, Scott and McCoy are on our Enterprise." I said finally pulling myself back into the moment.

I hoped that she would protect my babies but I am sure that with Gray and Mandy on the crew Spock would be told immediately that the ones who beamed over were not us. We just had to find away to get to our Enterprise.

Jim gave us our orders he told Scott to short out the phaser couplings and told McCoy to research medical records and for me to get back to my post and check today's communications from Starfleet.

"Captain I'm…" I paused.

Jim gripped both my shoulders and stared into my eyes.

"Uhura you're the only one who can do it." He said trying to encourage me.

I nodded yes but looked back towards McCoy.

"Captain I need to find out if I am still…" before I could get it out McCoy was scanning me.

"You are pregnant Uhura but not very far along." McCoy answered and I sighed with relief.

"Dr. McCoy Vulcan life signs right?" I questioned.

"Yes Uhura." He replied.

I smiled. At least this Uhura was smart.

"I believe my task became easier Captain." I said with a new found courage.

When I got on the bridge Sulu approached my console and leaned against it. He leaned into my personal space and I backed away slightly. This Sulu had a large scar on his face. He grabbed my chin with his hand and tilted my head up.

"Still no interest Uhura?" He questioned. "I could changer your mind."

"You are away from your post sir." I said in my own commanding tone.

"Is the Captain here? Is Spock here?" He questioned. He put emphasis on Spock's name when he spoke it.

He chuckled and I snatched my face away.

"When the cat's away." He began but I moved to slap him but Jim entered the bridge and Sulu went back to his post.

Jim asked for the communication status out loud and I gave it him then whispered that he was ordered to destroy the colonies no alternative. Spock soon reentered the bridge and I shifted under his gaze again. Jim stalled for time and he quietly argued with Spock about his reason.

I watched Spock walk over to the captain chair and sit. The chair always looked good when he was in it.

"Lieutenant Uhura come here please." He ordered.

I rose from my seat and walked slowly to the man who looked like my husband but didn't act like him. I stood beside the chair and tried not to tremble.

"I saw who you looked at Mr. Scott in the transporter room. I was not pleased." He said with a firm grip on my arm.

"Spock… You're hurting me." I choked out.

"Yes, I know and if you care for Mr. Scott's safety you will refrain from those stares you gave him." He answered in his commanding tone.

"Spock."

"I also discovered that you are with child. When were you planning on telling me?" He questioned harshly.

"When I came back." I answered.

"Sulu you have the bridge." Spock ordered then he stood and dragged me to the turbo lift.

His lips crashed on mine he was nothing like my Spock but my safety was at hand and I had to play along. He stopped the lift and pushed me against the wall. His tongue invaded my mouth and his hands roamed my body.

His hand found its way into my panties. He moaned into my mouth.

"Nice and wet just the way I like it." he panted into my ear his voice husky and raspy.

"Spock not here. Let's go back to your quarters." I said against his lips.

He took his finger from me and placed it in his mouth. If my Spock had done that I would have been all over him but this was about survival.

"I need you right now." He panted.

"Spock. One more minuet will not kill you." I countered as sexily as I could.

"Nyota you should not play with my affections so." He whispered in my ear.

"Spock I just want you all to myself in private so that I can do…" I paused.

A low growl erupted from his chest and he nipped my ear with his teeth. He started the turbo lift again. We walked quickly to his room. He quickly did away with my clothes. I had to return the action. He walked over to the bed pushing me with his body weight.

"Nyota what is wrong with you?" He questioned.

"Nothing Spock. I just. I'm not feeling that well. I'm not sure I like pregnancy." I said hoping that he would give up his actions to have me at this moment.

"Are you trying to deny me my right as your mate?" he questioned and the thought of him forcing me into this sent shivers through me.

"No Spock I just. I am concerned about this pregnancy that's all."

"The birth of a son would be glorious." He said sounding like a Klingon.

"Yes Spock I know but do you feel anything for me?" I asked and maybe that would tip him off but I had to know.

"I feel things for you that I should not. I will miss u when you go back to earth with the child."

"Back to earth?" I questioned.

He began to look at me questioningly. I had to do something to distract him. I quickly forcefully crashed my lips onto his. I closed my eyes as he entered me. I closed my eyes pretending he was my Spock so that I could get through this. He was rough and did not take the care with my body that my Spock always took with me.

Finally it was over as he spilled himself into me. I closed my eyes as he rolled off of me. I ran to the bathroom to throw up and clean off. When I came back into the bedroom he was gone.

My communicator went off and I answered it. Jim told me I had to distract Sulu only one thing came to mind. I hated to do it but it seems in this universe women only advanced through sexuality.

I walked over to his station and toyed with him. I pulled him close to me as the signal from Mr. Scott's work in the engineering room. Once the light went off I pushed away from Sulu and pointed my knife at him. I boarded the turbo lift and went to join Jim and the others.

Jim came in followed by Spock.

"Yes of course the entire landing party." Spock said looking at me. "Come doctor it is time for answers." He continued.

Jim turned around and punched Spock in the face and an all out brawl began. Scotty joined the fight and when Spock pushed him I was knocked to the floor. For some reason I felt compelled to join the fight and when I did Spock tossed me into the wall.

This Spock was so violent even with me. I longed to hear the voice of my Spock to hear him say my name with the proper softness, to hear him say that he loved me. My Spock would have never thrown me into a wall like that especially not while pregnant, but this Spock nothing mattered to him. In this universe nothing mattered to anyone except survival. As a woman in this universe all I had were my female whims. I want to go back to where I was appreciated for my mind, I want to go back to my children and my husband. I handed Jim an object and he knocked it over Spock's head brining him down. His head was bleeding and my heart was breaking. Scotty told Jim that we had fifteen minuets until we could transport so Dr. McCoy had them place Spock on the table and he began to work on him.

Tears fell from my eyes. This Spock was cold and cruel, his kisses weren't right, his touch wasn't right but… But he was still Spock. I would hate for this Uhura to lose her Spock just like I would hate to lose mine. To her his touch was right and so were his kisses.

We walked quickly to the transporter room and hoped the theory worked and that we could get back to our universe. We got delayed by Sulu and some of his men and yet another fight broke out. Some woman appeared who claimed to be Jim's woman and I laughed to myself.

She wanted to leave with us. She begged Jim then she pulled out a phaser when he refused again. I smacked her and took both her weapons. We still waited for McCoy. Scott discovered that the power had been cut. After discussing it Jim decided that he would stay behind to operate the transporter.

Spock then came in with Dr. McCoy.

"I cut the power. I had to delay you until I got here." Spock said as he walked over to Jim.

Spock ordered the power turned back on.

"You're a man of integrity in both universes Mr. Spock."

"You must return to your universe and I must have my Captain back." Spock said in the tone that I had known so well.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3- Spock

Grayson came with me to the transporter room for study. During the storm I noticed that there was a power surge and we lost the landing party then got them back. When they materialized Grayson grabbed my arm lightly.

"Spock set phasers on the first Halican city." Jim ordered and I looked at him questioningly.

"Sir?" I questioned.

Jim looked around and then looked to the landing party. Jim then looked down at Grayson.

"Captain are you having any side effects from the beam up?" I questioned.

"Yes. Yes I am I think McCoy should check us all." Jim said looking at the rest of the landing party.

They left the room with Nyota saying nothing to myself or Grayson.

"That was not mommy. They are not the same ones that went down."

I knelt down in front of my son.

"Grayson are you certain?" I questioned.

"Yes Commander. That is not the same landing party." He said sure of his observation.

"Ok cadet. I ask that you keep this information to yourself for the moment." I said with a smile.

"Yes Commander." He responded and I beamed with pride.

He indeed would make a great officer I am excited to see how he handles his first crisis as a cadet. I would put Nyota to the test.

I entered the bridge with Grayson behind me. I stood on the side of her to whisper in her ear.

"I wish to speak with you in private." I whispered.

She stood in response and we walked to the turbo lift. I placed my hand on her belly.

"How are the three of you feeling right now?" I questioned.

"Excuse me?" She questioned her face full of confusion.

"Any morning sickness while you were on the planet?" I questioned keeping an eye on her reaction.

"No. Um why did you say the three of us?" She questioned and my eyebrow rose.

Indeed she was not my wife. I said nothing in reply and I softly grabbed her arm. I gently dragged her to the brig.

"Spock what are you doing?" She screamed.

"You are not my Nyota which means that no one from the landing party is who they seem to be."

Security guards brought the others of the landing party to the brig. Last to be brought was Captain Kirk. He was screaming about where his armed guards where.

"Spock you traitor. You can't do this I'll have you all executed."

"I think not Captain. Your authority here is limited." I responded. "It seems as though some sort of transmutation occurred in transport." I continued.

"Spock what do you want? I'll give you credits you'll be a rich man. Command of your own? Spock!" He yelled from the cell.

I stopped and tilted my head this was fascinating but I needed to find out how to get our crew back. With the four of them in the brig I went to research the situation. Twenty three point five hours have passed since the four in the brig have beamed over. Then I was called to the transporter room.

There before me was my Nyota. I took a deep breath as I looked at the others with her. They were the right ones.

"Good to see you Mr. Spock." Jim said with a smile.

Scott and McCoy walked past me out the doors. Nyota stopped in front of me. She extended her two fingers of her right hand and I extended mine. Our fingers connected in the touch and she smiled.

"I missed you." She breathed softly.

We were in the room alone. I placed a soft hand on her face. Our foreheads connected. My lips connected with hers.

"Spock promise that you'll never grow a beard." She said against my lips.

"A beard?" I questioned.

"The other you he had a beard." She answered.

She shivered as she spoke of the other me. I ran my hands up and down her arms trying to comfort her.

"Nyota did something happen to you?" I questioned and I saw fear in her eyes.

"Spock I just need to get some sleep." She answered nervous.

"Sure I will tell the Captain that you are resting." I said softly as I pulled her into me.

"Spock I don't want to be alone. Please come with me." She pleaded.

Something had happened to her but she was not willing to speak of it yet. I would wait. My thumb ran across her face and I smiled at her kissing her cheek.

"Go to our quarters and wait for me I will go to the bridge and tell Jim that we will be off shift." I said softly.

She nodded in agreement and went to our quarters. I also made arrangements for the children to stay with Kelly and Diane for the evening. I quietly entered our quarters in case she had fallen asleep. She was nowhere to be found until I went into the bathroom. She sat on the shower floor crying. I have seen this state before. She has suffered some kind of trauma. I grabbed a towel and wrapped her in it. I carried her to the bed and laid her down.

I dressed her in her pajamas. I took off my boots and leaned against the headboard. She wrapped her arms around my waist I bent one of my legs up and wrapped my arms around her.

"I'm sorry Spock." She whispered into my chest.

"Nyota you have done nothing to be sorry for." I replied with my hand caressing her back.

"I understand now. I understand what happened with you on the Romulan ship." She said tearfully.

I shifted uncomfortably as she brought up the incident that led to our divorce. I pushed her closer to me.

"Spock it would be too painful to speak of please do a mind meld with me." She said in a whisper.

I kissed the top of her head. I placed my hand in the proper positions. A flood of memories and emotions from the last day flowed into my mind. I saw the way my alternate self treated her. He was rough and cruel. I saw the disgust in her when he touched her. I felt the pain she felt when she gave herself to him to ensure her safety. She felt like she betrayed me. She was gripped by fear of him and felt she had no choice. The alternate versions of the Enterprise crew members were violent myself included. They were part of the Klingon Empire and I acted as such.

I disengaged the mind meld and she looked up at me tearfully.

"I'm sorry Spock. I betrayed you." She cried.

"You did what you had to." I responded and kissed her forehead again.

"But I let him…" she paused. "Spock aren't you upset with me? Angry that I let another man touch me. Be intimate with me. The way I was angry with you." She said with tears pouring from her eyes.

"No Nyota I am not. I understood your anger then."

"But I treated you unfairly." She cried.

"The instinct to survive is strong. It will cause one to do anything to obtain that survival. I saw your thoughts then all you wanted was to get back here to me and our family. You have special cargo to think about and I know you did it to protect them as well." I responded holding her tighter.

She cried into my chest for a few minutes.

"Spock I need to be touched by you. Please. I need you to make love to me." She cried.

I smiled down at her and kissed her softly. My hand grazed her face softly.

"I love you Nyota. Nothing will change that." I said in a whisper against her lips.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 5- Spock

Thanks for joining another chapter suggested viewing for the following chapters is *And the children shall lead* watch it on youtube or hulu.

Jim, McCoy and I beamed down to scientific out post. We received a distress call but when we got there adults were dead. We examined the bodies to be sure a man appeared. I recognized as Professor Starks. Jim approached him and he held a phaser to Jim. Starks looked at Jim and collapsed to the ground. McCoy examined him and announced the obvious.

"He's dead Jim."

I rolled my eyes choosing to keep my comments to myself. I picked up Starks' phaser and we walked over to one of the bodies a female. Jim turned her over she had a small vial in her mouth. Jim smelled it and handed it to McCoy.

"Zilotin." McCoy said stunned

Jim played the last few recorded moments on Starks' tricorder.

"We must destroy ourselves… Alien among us… The enemy from within." He said sounding altered.

"All of this was self inflicted. A mass suicide." Jim uttered in shock.

We heard the children at first and then they came out of a cave running and playing as if nothing had happened here. They just ran around the bodies of their parents as though they didn't even see them or they were running around rocks. They circled us and I became uneasy a feeling I am not used to around children. The oldest one spoke.

"Who are you?" He questioned.

"I'm Kirk." Jim answered.

"I'm Tommy Starks. This is Mary, Steve, Ray and Don." He said as he pointed out each of his companions.

The only girl Mary she gabbed Jim's hand.

"Come and play with us." She cried and he looked back at McCoy and me.

They formed a circle around him and began to sing an old earth children's song that Nyota sometimes sang with our own children. Ring around the roses. McCoy and I stared at one another. They were not acting like grieving children. Jim had some security guards beamed down and we buried the dead. After the burial the children ran off to play again.

Everyone in the landing party was greatly disturbed. Kelly beamed down with her new assistant cadet Amanda Shi'Kahr.

McCoy countered Jim's worries by stating that the children may have inflicted amnesia on themselves to block what they saw. I countered that humans have a way of blocking out that which is painful to them. However with Amanda helping in the investigation I was sure that the answer would be near.

Amanda had another mission besides just being a cadet. Starfleet wanted to test the difference it would make for a starship Captain to have a telepath on board. If she proved beneficial all Starships headed for deep space may have a telepath on board with them. The girl ran into Jim and that pulled me from my thoughts of my own daughter.

Jim announced to them that it was time for them to go to the ship and like children they protested. They pouted in the same way Soren and Skylar do when we inform them it's time for bed.

"I know you don't want to but it is time to go up to the ship. You'll go up with the doctors." Jim continued.

I noticed that Kelly and McCoy disagreed on the reactions or lack of reaction of the children. Amanda seemed uncomfortable.

"Cadet Shi'Kahr stay." Jim said and Amanda nodded.

Once we were sure that the others were beamed up Jim spoke to Amanda.

"Is there anything you can tell us Ms. Shi'Kahr?" Jim questioned.

"Captain whatever happened here they are not even thinking about it. None of them. I can't read anything from them except the desire to play. The desire was so strong that I almost wanted to play with them." She said sounding almost ashamed.

"Yes well cadet you are still just seven years old no matter how mature you are mentally. I need you to find out what is going on with them and report directly to me or Mr. Spock is that understood." He ordered and she stood straight.

"Yes Captain." She replied then she mocked my stance and stood with her hands behind her back.

"The attack on them had to be unprovoked." I said in my normal tone.

"Yes it had to have been." Jim replied. "But Spock it was a mass suicide."

"Yes I used the wrong word perhaps I should have used inject. Perhaps a bacteria or mass depression." I added.

"Captain." Amanda interjected. "I do not think there was an attack of bacteria or mass depression here." She continued.

"Explain cadet." He responded.

"Not an attack in the normal sense. I get the feeling that it was more of a mental attack. Some kind of outside force as Mr. Spock suggest but I can't be sure until I can talk with them but…" she paused and Jim smiled at her.

"Ok cadet I will wait for your report." Jim answered and I could see pride on his face.

He always treated Amanda as though she was his own daughter and I knew he was proud of her. This would be her first case and he was confident she could handle it as was I. I was her superior officer and father but she was not afraid to disagree with me on my hypothesis. I was very proud indeed.

My tricorder went off. When I read it, there was an energy reading coming from the cave in which the children had appeared from. The three of us walked into the cave. I informed Jim that I was not picking up any humanoid readings.

I looked down at Amanda and she was shaking then Jim began to shiver.

"That's strange. That's very strange I'm getting a feeling of anxiety." Jim said.

"Daddy." Amanda screamed holding her head in pain and trembling with fear.

I grabbed her up into my arms and she hugged me tightly. Tears began to stream down her face and wet my shirt.

"It doesn't sound very scientific. Does it Mr. Spock?" Jim questioned backing away from me.

"I am not aware of it Captain." I answered but I realized the two of them were feeling something.

"It is strongest right here." Amanda cried.

"Maybe that's what's registering on your tricorder." Jim said still trembling.

"I am familiar with anxiety but I did not know it could be registered on sensors." I replied.

"No of course not it's me and Amanda but what's causing your tricorder to react?" Jim questioned and began to walk back out of the cave.

I placed my hand on Amanda's back. She was fully attached to me her arms locked around my neck and her legs wrapped around my waist. In this moment she was a scared little girl in her dad's arms. She would beat herself up later for allowing her emotions to best her. But for the moment I relished having my little girl need me. She and Grayson have been self reliant for as long as Nyota and I could remember. Now she needed me. I supposed that fatherhood does that to you. Makes you want to be needed by your children.

With them trying to become officers Nyota and I have been feeling as though they were pulling away from us trying to be adults. Now she was a child again and I welcomed it. I kissed her cheek and walked out of the cave behind Jim.

Once outside Jim was relaxed but Amanda still trembled in fear.

"Captain are you alright?" I questioned.

"Yes I'm fine. I suppose it was just some sympathy vibration because of what happened here." He answered.

"Amanda are you ok now?" Jim questioned and she looked at him teary eyed.

"No Captain I still feel the fear and anxiety. It is still very strong for me." She replied and I leaned my head against hers.

"Perhaps Captain we should return to the ship." I said wanting her to relax.

"Yes I agree." He said with a smile.

I tried to have Amanda release me but she refused. We reached our quarters and I laid her in her bed. She curled into a ball. Whatever it was that was in the cave it has shaken her to a great extent. I walked out of her room and went to the com.

"Spock to Lt. Uhura." I called and waited for the melody that was her voice.

"Uhura here." She called in that wonderful melodic voice that sent shivers through me every time I heard it.

"You are needed in your quarters." I said and I could see her face even though she was on the bridge it was very clear in my mind.

"Spock." She whispered and I knew she would be blushing now.

"It's Amanda she had an experience on the planet. I have research to do I did not want to leave her unattended." I replied.

"Ok. I will get a replacement for myself I will be there shortly." She answered.

I sat on the bed with Amanda with her head in my lap. I stroked her hair to soothe her.

"I'm sorry daddy." She said in a whisper.

"What could you be sorry for princess?" I questioned.

"I collapsed under the pressure." She replied.

A soft smile appeared on my lips.

"Amanda this is your first case. You obviously felt something in that cave that overwhelmed you. You are still a child. You're a brilliant child but a child nonetheless and even adults get afraid during missions. When you are ready and you make your report it may help to understand what happened down there." I said stroking her cheek.

"You're not disappointed daddy?" She questioned and I put my hand down.

I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her up into a sitting position and sat her in my lap. I kissed her forehead softly and smiled.

"I am not disappointed. You are a very sensitive telepath. It's your job to tell us when you have a bad feeling or something affects you this way. In my opinion you have preformed your job very well today. With work one day it will not affect you so badly. For your first mission you preformed very well and I say that as one of your commanding officers not as your father." I said and she looked up at me with tears.

"But your father is very proud of you." I added and she threw her arms around me in a tight embrace.

Soon Nyota appeared at the door. She walked in quietly. I had laid down next to Amanda for her to go to sleep which she did. Nyota got in on the other side of Amanda and wrapped her arm around her.

"What happened?" Nyota questioned in a whisper.

"We went to investigate a cave on the planet and both she and Jim had a strange experience. Jim said he felt anxiety and she said she felt anxiety and incredible fear."

Nyota smiled softly and ran her hand across Amanda's face.

"I'm glad you were there." She said softly in a whisper.

"As am I. I called you because I have some research I must do in the lab. I think I will be working all night." I whispered and saw disappointment in her face.

"Ok. I'll hold down the fort Commander." She replied with the sexy smile I loved.

"Mommy?" Amanda questioned in a sleepy manner.

"Yes baby." She replied with a smile.

"Mommy can you stay with me?"

"Absolutely. Give daddy a kiss so that he can go to the lab." She answered in her sweet melody.

Amanda kissed my cheek and I returned the kiss then she turned back to Nyota.

"I love you beautiful." I said softly and our fingers connected.

"I love you too. See you later." She replied.

I walked out and made my way to the science lab. I wanted to know what was in that cave that affected both Amanda and Jim.


End file.
